holiday affirmation

How is it that two seemingly incongruous things so often go together? Love and hate, peace and war, etc. This month it’s holidays and stress. Ho ho ho and bah-humbug!

A friend recently told me about AFFIRMATIONS.

An affirmation is a like a Jedi mind trick from your heart to your brain. It’s a way of letting the steam out of the mental pressure cooker that holidays and family visits can be.

If you start to feel overwhelmed (sales and presents!) or disappointed (the odd Christmas sweater from Aunt Eth, again!) or pressured (20 batches of gingerbread by tomorrow!), you can think of your affirmation for some self-soothing and guidance. Say to yourself, I'm generous; I have a thoughtful family; I'm a good cook.

My friend knows how to do these; she was able to list out the essential elements of affirmations, which I can’t recall from memory, but there are web sites that have more information. Click here for a web site that does a pretty good job of listing parts of an affirmation. I would say that at 9 things, it’s a little much, but I’m no expert.

Dr. Maoshing Ni, a doctor of Chinese medicine, says positive affirmations may be the key to stress-free health. He says that we should repeat positive thoughts in our minds as this affects our health and energy levels.

So here it is, positive affirmation guidelines for the holidays. I’m going to keep it simple.
1. Be positive
2. Be specific
3. Believe absolutely in what you affirm
4. Repeat

The thing is, cut yourself some slack. The more good stuff you feed your brain, the less room there is for the negative. And next month, with the start of a new year, you’ll definitely want to make new affirmations. Keep it fresh. Good luck!

getting down to art

A couple of years ago, Elizabeth Gilbert gave a speech about creativity that I've always loved.

In his own way, Caveh Zahedi is saying a similar thing about artists and art.

"What we admire in these artists is their individuality, their uniqueness. But I believe that all art is 'channeled,' i.e. that it comes from God, however one defines that word. But the modern view of art is that it is the self-expression of a sui generis individual, a 'genius' who is somehow more brilliant and talented than the rest of us."

"The truth is that we are all manifestations of the genius of God. The artist is no different than anyone else except insofar as he is closer to the source of his Being. But today, the artist has acquired the status of a saint, and the culture of celebrity has become our new religion. Only instead of a panoply of saints, known for their virtue and good works, we have movie stars and rock stars as religious icons. These people are worshiped not because of their spirituality or wisdom, but rather because they enable us to project a more grandiose image of ourselves, namely that, like them, we too can be more important and powerful than we actually feel ourselves to be."

-Caveh Zahedi, independent film maker

you don't have to be a genius

From "How I Write: A Conversation with Nancy Packer"
Feb 3, 2011 at Stanford University
(Available from iTunes U)

A writer's process is often as interesting as the writing. Here are some excerpts from a conversation with Nancy Packer.

On the process:

I realized you didn't have to be a genius... Not everyone is Faulkner. That there is room... it was not closed to me... That was an important lesson.

Don't share your work with your friends. Share it with people who know what they're doing.

Chekhov said to his brother - go to Moscow where you can find other writers. Go where there are writers. 

If you're trying to write, you can't wash socks or mow the lawn... you have to have a regular time. Once I had that established, then I was okay. ... I did the work. I stayed at the typewriter. ... Three pages and out.

On the audience:

You're not writing for yourself... You write to communicate with somebody. Who is it that you're trying to communicate with? 

Frank O'Connor once said that he wrote for the man in the armchair. 

I'm writing for ... somebody like me who isn't a writer. ... That's my audience. ... I'm not going to write down to try to appeal to an audience, because my audience doesn't want that. 

On why:

That moment when what you've just done is exactly right. ... Maybe a sentence, maybe a word, but whatever it was, was exactly perfect.

The story starts with a character and then the character takes over. 

I never gave up my writing. I never gave up wanting to be a successful writer, even during the darkest time.

http://events.stanford.edu/events/258/25871/
http://news.stanford.edu/stanfordtoday/ed/9607/9607np01.shtml

what the kids say

Tonight my 4-year-old looked up from his plate and said, "Is there meat in my hotdog?"

I don't like to lie to the kids. I knew I was on shaky ground. My kid doesn't like meat. Anymore, he doesn't like to eat anything except for candy and ice cream. He used to eat mac & cheese and apples and pizza. Even these go-to foods are no longer a sure bet.

"You know," I said, "it's a hot dog." So that's not really an answer, and it's possibly a lie by omission. But incredibly, it seemed to work, and he went back to eating. It was only good for two more bites and then, pushing back from the table, he declared it wasn't the kind of hot dog he usually likes.

My older son just turned six, and he's making relevant observations about his world all the time. It's hard to keep up with everything the kids say, but I won't soon forget that he got in trouble for calling his teacher a name. What name?

"I called my teacher Fatty McBeautiful. She didn't like the Fatty Mc part."

He didn't laugh once telling me this. The other morning while getting ready for school, he turned to me with a serious expression on his face.

"You know what? When a burp loses its way, it comes out of your butt."

These are typical conversations at my house. My kids love fat stuff and anything to do with farts.

I've heard that your brain can only hold so much new information. It becomes saturated, and after that, all new information pushes out the old stuff. I know I should feel horrible, but I can't remember what it is I've forgotten.

this is a sign

Check it out.
Good and evil have united to help me write my novel!

dude! out of the mouths...

My children use the word dude to address adults. I'm not sure how it happened, but it has.

A few weeks ago we were hiking in the woods of NC when we came across a woman walking her dog. My 4-year-old must have been impressed. A few minutes later we came across a man and a woman, sans dog. My son says, "Lady and dude, where's your dog?"

My 5-year-old is no better. Tonight as we're walking on the sidewalk of a strip mall, a motorcycle pulls up and parks right in front of us. The boys are ecstatic! They say things like, "Whoa! I've never seen a motorcycle park before!"

The driver, you can tell, is grinning at having an audience. The grin didn't last long. The biker dismounts, and we continue on our way. But just on the other side of a van we see another motorcycle--a little more chrome, a little more oomph. My 5-year-old turns back to the biker and yells, "Hey dude! This bike's bigger than yours!"

No amount of arm pulling and teeth gritting can stop that from happening. Whatever happened to children being seen and not heard? I'm fairly certain that maxim was invented for people like my kids. And yet... I kind of don't care.

So, they call adults dudes... In the grand scheme of things it could be much worse. My kids are happy and healthy and we have a good time when we're out together. This is one of those things that prompts my mother to observe, "If your grandmother was here, she'd have a stroke!"

It's not just the dude thing, it's a lot of things. I'm raising my kids a lot differently than I was raised. I would never on my life have called an adult dude. I would probably have been punished. Maybe that's why I don't do it to my kids? Maybe I don't want to overreact and so I'm under-reacting? I say to them, Instead of dude to get someone's attention, you might say excuse me.

But they know, and I know, that excuse me doesn't pack the same wallop as Dude!

dear visitor from edinburgh

Hi! I'm writing a story set partly in Scotland, so it would be great if you would follow me either here or at twitter.

Thanks!

ah, the smell of lignin...

Sunday afternoon I visited a Barnes & Noble. As soon as I entered the store, I smelled the air—books! Why is it that books smell so good? I prefer the smell of a bookstore to candles, handmade soap, even coffee.

Once I’ve made a purchase and settle down to read, I open the book, bury my nose in the pages, and breathe in. Smelling a book is a sensuous experience. I can identify what I think of as ink, pulp, glue, but really the fix is in enjoying all the smells as a single entity. New books, old books--these are the smells of adventure and heartbreak, dragons and aliens.

From ymfy ~
Lignin, the stuff that prevents all trees from adopting the weeping habit, is a polymer made up of units that are closely related to vanillin. When made into paper and stored for years, it breaks down and smells good. Which is how divine providence has arranged for secondhand bookstores to smell like good quality vanilla absolute, subliminally stoking a hunger for knowledge in all of us.

Cool things about books ~

> Bookshelf porn has cool photos, from which I took the one I used for this post. Love the photos on this site!

> Some science type stuff behind what's in the smell of old books and why they smell so good.

> This is kinda dumb, but I can't resist, for ebooks mavens, book smell in a spray. If only...

an april fool...

This year no one yelled for me to come look at some deer in the back yard. No one called to tell me my dog had eaten a bag of chocolate, or that they'd run out of gas on the highway, and I'd have to come get them during rush hour. The fool is the jester, the one everyone likes to make fun of, to laugh at. April Fool's Day is a way of celebrating this merriment.

I'm not especially keen on the whole thing--I'm usually made to feel the fool. This year, happily, the day has passed without me getting totally wrapped around the axle about some odd thing, only to have some jokester yell, April Fool! and laugh at my distress.

The fool is not all bad. It's a caricature that has been around forever. Two things I like about the fool. In tarot, the fool is a dreamer. When you pull the fool card, it's like getting a do-over. In Shakespeare, the fool is a misnomer; the fool outwits and entertains.

And so, in the spirit of the dreamer, here are some lines from one of my favorite fools, Puck.


















If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
(A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act v. Scene i.)

guest blogging

I think guest blogging is a fantastic idea! Thanks to The Quotable Lit crew for featuring me as a guest blogger in February. They published Chaos, Art & Revolution. It looks much better on their site than on mine.

If you're in feeling foolish, come to The Venue this Friday, April 1st in Norfolk on 35th street. It's open mike night, so bring something to read.

You're my friend so much!

Tomorrow is Saint Valentine's Day ~ patron of love, young people, and happy marriages...
Who can not love this day!
The boys and I have happily cut out paper hearts and glued on sparkles for several hours. They are really excited for tomorrow. They know they will be handing out and receiving valentines. They each have a bag with their name on it to put their cards in.

They helped me to make valentines for their teachers too.


For Beren, his biggest challenge today was trying to understand why he couldn't eat the gummie bears that I bought for his class. I made 11 little bags and tied them with a blue hearts ribbon.

Spending this time with the boys is the best! Beren's Valentine's Day cards are 3-D dinosaur cards. They're cute! One of them is a triceratops and it reads "You're tops!"

Fenn's are Clone Wars, and he helped me write little notes to his classmates.
Here are a few of my faves...

Thomas - "I bet Thomas would love a jedi!"
Aiden - "You're the best bro ever!"
Kate - (we had to do 3 different cards for Kate until Fenn was happy.) "Kate is pretty."
Willow - "A really nice girl!"
Emma - "She teaches me how to gurgle right..."
Caleb - "You're the best cool dude ever!"
Carter - "I loved your birthday party!"
Michaela - "You are so important!"
... and my personal favorite
Madison - "You're my friend so much!"

The Ham in the Sandwich

A guy from work said he read my blog yesterday, and experiences the same feelings on his own projects. That's good to know. Thanks, John!

I don't usually write much on the weekends. I'm going to start this weekend early--not writing! I don't want to get too bogged down. I think it's okay to take a break from the page. I wrote a little bit today--maybe a sentence. Believe it or not, I have other writing projects that I'm doing. Book #2 is at 87 pages. I just switched over to that one. I'm workshopping it in some form or fashion on Sunday, so it's actually appropriate that I take a look at it.

Today I talked to my dad about some decisions I'm making. When I asked him if he was okay with it, he said, "Look, I'm not the ham in that sandwich!"

Is that too vague? Here is what I'm trying to say: I've got a full plate. I'm starting to think that other areas of life are creeping into my creative field of vision. Until I can get other stuff worked out, creativity will suffer. No matter how often I come to the page, my head's going to be crammed w/ some non-creative crap.

So, it's good that my dad is cool with what I'm doing. Because I'm at the point where, even though I care what he thinks, I have to do what is necessary no matter.

Shockingly, there are actually some other things I need to think about besides writing. This weekend I need a serious MAE-DAY! What is it with us Walkers and our sandwiches?

Artists Working Daily

When artists are working regularly, they are spiritually centered. The act of making art is a spiritual act and our daily exposure to this realm does have an impact on our personality.
- Julia Cameron, December 2010

There is no cure for being insecure about the work except to do the work. I’m not sure who said that, but it wasn’t me. I’m only thinking it over and over. It’s my mantra for this day… That’s right. I’ve reached WRITER’S FUNK.

There is no way around doing the work except to not do the work. And if not doing the work is not an option, you are only left to do the work.

Today I have struggled so much. I believed I might have come to an impasse. I am not writing organically anymore. It’s all forced.

Today I have spent a lot of time envisioning that I will not finish my book.

I spent time thinking about how it wasn’t any good.

I spent time thinking about how it cannot be published.

I’ve been working on a novel for 5 months and now… a FUNK.

I checked out some web sites—one of them was Julia Cameron’s site, and that’s where I got the quote above.

I did some desperation searches on the Internet, like, how to finish your novel. I looked up plot. I am feeling like I’m not anywhere close to being finished.

I spent time getting the PATH of the boat worked out. (There is a boat in the book.)

Then I spent time getting the TOC worked out.

Then I spent time thinking about how I had nothing left to write. And all of these things are not actually helping me, because I’m not writing NEW material. I’m just fooling around w/ what I’ve already done. If I had anything new to write, I would do that instead.

I counted my total number of chapters: 32. I counted how many I have written already: 23.

Of the 23 chapters I’ve already written, at least 9 need serious help.

That still leaves 9 more chapters that I need to write from scratch. Somehow that seems like a lot.

I printed out a list of the chapters. Then I put a check mark next to the chapters that I had already written, and it seemed like such an easy thing.

I do not remember struggling over every word of the previous chapters. But I must have.

I do not remember having a head full of self-doubt. But I always do.

I took some advice today from one of the places that I looked up online to get help. This person said to make sure you know how the novel ends.

I think I already know how it ends. Though I do not know everything, I know some things. And I moved forward on my book today, focusing on the SOME that I already know.

Yep, and I missed yoga. But I was thinking about my story.

I wrote almost 3 pages today of new material. And this is a day that I spent practically the entire day thinking that it was all bunk.

I can only hope that during my rewrite—which I am greatly looking forward to—that I will find the voice and story and plot in this book. I’m looking forward to the rewrite b/c I have a little bit of hope that this book will start to take its shape. I suspect that editing might be a little easier than cold writing.

There is no cure for being insecure about the work except to do the work. When the words flow, that’s the best.

If there are people at BOOT tonight, I will need to get some help to get out of this writing funk.

Word count: 69,468
Page count: 285